The rule, not the exception

Sometimes, when I have a decision to make or when I'm unsure what to do, I have to remind myself that I'm almost always going to fall within the range of normal or "the rule" and hardly ever the exception. This is one of those coping mechanisms that I use when I'm feeling fearful about flying - the rule is that most people never experience an accident or issue when flying. I am not special, I will probably always fall within the rule or statistically probable outcome.

I'm well aware of the stats about safety with the vertical sleeve gastrectomy surgery - I've read articles, stats from the surgeon, etc. Chances are I will not fall within that small range of folks who have a major complication. I might have some sort of minor complication but the overwhelming statistical probability is that I will have a perfectly routine surgery, recovery will be somewhat painful but not impossible, I will lose a great deal of my excess weight, I will keep it off by sticking to the guidelines from my surgical program and I will see an improvement or resolution of the weight-related issues I have now. 

I also happen to be the type who can understand something intellectually but not be entirely convinced in my heart. I'm getting there, I just need to keep reminding myself that I'm the rule, not the exception.

The road to here

I know I should go way back, far enough back that it would have to start with "I've always been fat." But you can probably fill in the blanks there. Everyone's story is the same, with some variation here and there. I was the "always fat" - there wasn't a change or life event that caused me to put on weight. Life caused me to put on weight. So that's where I am.

I committed myself to losing weight starting in mid-November of 2014. I knew that I was going to look into having surgery but because it's such a long process, I wanted to be proactive and see if I could lose some weight on my own. I'm currently down 19 pounds. I'm not ready yet to share my actual weight - that will come later, maybe.

Stephen and I went to seminar at my surgeon's hospital on January 15th. I can't say that I learned very much, since I've been doing my own research. I did get a good feeling from the surgeon and the patients they had there to discuss their experiences. Stephen commented that he was more at ease with the surgery after the seminar.

My next step is an appointment with a nurse practitioner at the surgeon's office and then it's a 4-6 month process of dieticians, classes, meeting with a psychologist, etc etc. I don't know the finer points of what's required yet but I do know that I'm going to keep trying to lose weight before the surgery.


I guess this is my "before" picture. I'm probably not at my highest weight here but it will do. I'm about 5'4", for reference.

My main challenge will be remaining patient. Once I've decided on something, I want to do it NOW, so I need to keep that in check.